In the distant year of 10191, all the planets of the known Universe are under the control of Padishah Emperor Shaddam IV and the most important commodity in the Universe is a substance called the spice "MELANGE" which is said to have the power of extending life, expanding the consciousness and even to "fold space" ; being able to travel to any distance without physically moving. This spice "MELANGE" is said to only be produced in the desert planet of Arrakis, where the FREMEN people have the prophecy of a man who will lead them to true freedom. This "desert planet"of Arrakis is also known as DUNE. A secret report of the space "GUILD" talks about some circumstances and plans that could jeopardize the production of "SPICE" with four planets involved: ARRAKIS, CALADAN, GIEDI PRIME and KAITAIN, a world at least visually very alike to Earth and house of the Emperor of the known Universe. The "GUILD" sends a third stage navigator to KAITAIN to ask details from the Emperor and to demand him the killing of young Paul Atreides, son of the Duke Leto Atreides of CALADAN Tomatometer=7,3 / 10 Creator=David Lynch actor=Leonardo Cimino countries=Mexico, USA

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Dune's trip to the screen took so long and involved so much squandered effort, one feels that out of pity, you should say something positive about it. But that's almost impossible. Look no further. You've found it - one of the worst movies ever made. Anyone who voted for Ishtar hasn't seen this. This is film-making at its most inept, convoluted and stodgiest.
When I first saw Dune (in its original theatrical release) there were two distinct omens; upon buying your ticket you were handed a list of terms and definitions used in the movie. Apparently the filmmakers were so worried that this weird, bookish film was such an indecipherable morass that the viewers who hadn't drank the Frank Herbert Kool-Aid would willingly consult a glossary to get back on track (you know: research! The 2nd warning sign is the introduction to the film, clearly duct-taped on by desperate producers watching their profits evaporate, which shows Princess Irulan's (Virginia Madsen) floating head staring down the audience, didactically explaining still more obscure plot-points in positively boneheaded, stilted verbiage (with royal enunciation. and oh yes, I forgot to mention, the spice is crapped in big piles by an organism that looks like a blood clot, on the planet Jargon 7" At just the five minute mark, you have already sat through the most obtuse piece of film you ever will. Why Irulan (a fourth tier character, lost in this pile-up) is handed this ignoble task, may simply have to do with which actor was willing to come back and film additional footage for a few bucks. It's just one of thousands of questions you'll have.
Moving on. The big plot point is that a privileged young man turns out to be even more privileged (with galactic implications) than he imagined; that's something you can really relate to. We all thought I was a messiah once in the third grade. As portrayed by Kyle Maclachlan, a wooden actor, Paul Atreides is unbearable, and once his true calling is revealed, he becomes even stiffer and duller. Are we supposed to like Paul because he smiles a lot?
The movie is ceremonial & pompous. Characters lack an ounce of individuation, and speechify instead of relating to each other or moving the plot forward; talking in explicit meaning, as if communication and culture were only about passing parcels of information. They talk and talk and talk, and when their lips are closed they still talk via some hideous voice-overs. I'll be damned if I could tell you ten words that were important in the whole movie. Only Spawn handles language as stupidly as Dune. If you like movies to signify overt meaning literally, so that you don't have to reason things out yourself, this one's for you. Lynch (also the films author) constructs dumb illegible visuals, and forgets that a smart camera placement is worth ten pages of script. This is so non-filmic, that it's nearly impossible to believe it's a David Lynch movie.
There is nothing more to say about this film except that every time it's creators make a choice it's a bad one, resulting in an utterly bewildering movie. DUNE is such a hopelessly, stupidly literal film, it easily claims a spot in my trifecta of the worst three films ever made. If you just want to see a decent escapist space opera, just rent Stargate, which is not great either, but it fails much less and has fewer pretensions than this.
I really need to rent this again just for the laughs. I had almost forgotten that every line that issues from the 6 year old red-head is so poorly dubbed that I was howling.
Sidenote: It's difficult to imagine how you could make Dune worse, until you see the TV version. It's so bad that David Lynch takes his name off of it. That version begins with a narrator intoning over "courtroom artist" quality drawings (of scenes that took place before the film started) again in an attempt to correct its flaws and frontload a codex. I think you get the idea.
The best you can say about this piece of space-corn may be that it put Kyle Maclachlan in the hands of David Lynch, setting the stage for Blue Velvet, although what K.M. contributes there could have probably been done by anyone. Let's call it a draw with Twin Peaks.

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